Bridges Toward Tomorrow

Sooner or later, every one of us will stand before a bridge we never expected to cross.

For much of my life, I have walked toward people in crisis, stepping into homes shattered by violence, classrooms forever changed by tragedy, prison yards, courtrooms, and places where most people instinctively turn away. My work required me to get comfortable walking to the edge.

It may be a cancer diagnosis, a flood that washes away everything we own, or a wildfire that forever changes the landscape of our lives. It can be the pain from losing someone we love; a relationship coming to an end. We relate to that moment when we face an unexpected ending to our career, even when it's planned. That last embrace when our youngest child ventures out to make their own life.

One day, we face the realization that our lives may not be how we imagined. For a moment, we may feel disappointed, like everything is ending, unaware of the bridge still before us. Perhaps the bridge was built to carry us somewhere new.

For years, I prepared the start of each day with goal to survive. Somewhere along the way, I forgot to prepare to live. Perhaps that's true of more people than we realize. I didn’t have the capacity to live and prepare to die at the exact same time.

This summer, I found myself on a journey, crossing one bridge after another. I didn’t anticipate stepping away from survival mode because I didn’t realize I was still in it. These bridges prepared me to live and left me excited to think of my future.

While some bridges are made of steel and some are made of wood, others are invisible bridges. They are built from uncertainty, courage, grief, hope, and faith; unsure of what that next step will be, yet leading to empowerment and the belief of life ahead. Perhaps it does not mirror the image of our life before nor may it be the life we had envisioned. Perhaps we have a new path.

Some of our journeys are unprecedented with winding mountain roads, enormous gusts of wind and floodwaters all demanding full attention. Some of my journey was relentless; never ending fire and so much smoke. There were moments on this journey when I could only focus on the next step, the next mile, the next moment because the final destination seemed too insurmountable to reach.

Along the way, something unexpected happened. Many special people in my life showed up for me in different ways; a daughter who stayed on the phone through floodwaters. Family to encourage me to get to the next town where it would clear, knowing it may not. Friends who opened their homes. Family who quietly celebrated each small victory. Friends flying across the country to say hello. Former students made me pottery and my most special friends from my life shared their precious time with me.

Throughout this journey over the bridges, their impact was profound, showing up to celebrate each step I took; reminding me there are still bridges for me to cross. I do not have to cross them alone. The people in my life from my past, and my present, have been there all along, I just couldn’t see them.

For a long time, I had forgotten how to be present even for myself. As I found my way back, I realized the people who loved me had never stopped showing up. I simply hadn't been able to see them. Sometimes, when we are concentrating on surviving the storm, we rarely notice how far we've come.

Only then did I realize I had crossed so many bridges myself. I made it, through the floods and diverting the oncoming semi. I feel gratitude for the past, the present and now finally for the future.

Could that be the purpose of every bridge, not to test our strength, but to reveal it?

Sometimes we don't recognize we've reached the other side until someone who loves us smiles and says, "You're here."