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In order
for parents, educators, children, and other professionals
to get a handle on bullying, there needs to be a clear definition
of what it is and what it is not. There is a clear difference
between bullying and teasing. It is important the two words
be used correctly. The other difficulty in dealing with bullying
is that everyone comes into the situation with a different
life experience base. That has the potential to cause two
people having a conversation about bullying to actually be
talking about two very different things. Bullying
is the repeated, constant, oppressive physical and/or psychological
behavior towards one person who is seen as less powerful.
There is ALWAYS an imbalance of power. Teasing
involves a situation where there is a balance of power.
It is not constant and oppressive. Professionals and community
members have spent a great deal of time working with bullies
in hopes of curtailing their behaviors. There is now a more
popular and widely used approach internationally. The school
of thought now is to assist the victim in using social skills
that will assist them in not allowing themselves to be victimized.
When a bully sees that he or she can push the victim's buttons,
they will continue to do so simply because they can. Bullying
is less about what is wrong with the victim. The reason
it continues is because the victim does not know strategies
to stop the bully from bullying.
Bullying
usually starts in fifth or sixth grade, peaks during the
middle school years, and starts tapering off in about the
tenth grade. There are three types of bullying. It is important
that when discussing bullying, one uses specifics. Otherwise,
much is left to the interpretation of the people discussing
the topic.
Physical
Bullying: Hitting, poking, shoving, jabbing, fighting,
unwanted touching, blocking, stealing, writing graffiti
or slam books, pinching, chasing, tripping, vandalizing.
Verbal
Bullying:
Making fun of others, name calling, threatening, mocking,
put downs, racial comments, sexual comments.
Relational
Bullying: This is sometimes also referred to as
Indirect Bullying or Emotional Bullying. It includes deliberately
excluding the victim from group, hiding people's things,
spreading malicious rumors, shunning, ignoring.
In conclusion,
bullying is not just a local or national problem. Bullying
curriculums and Bullying Hotlines are being implemented
throughout Australia, the United Kingdom, in parts of Canada,
etc. There are many ways to deal with bullying problems.
Please
feel free to contact me to present to you, and your colleagues,
your communities, etc. in hopes of getting a handle on these
devastating behaviors. E-mail me at sulamaestra@gci.
If you
are interested in more information about how not to be a
victim, please call me at (907) 336-2665 or (907) 529-7151
or e-mail me at sulamaestra@gci.net
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